Ethan fell off from bed (22 Mar 08 3am)

Ethan have fell off from my bed on friday nite at 3am.. It was a loud bang sound n woke me up, shouting, 'BB fell dw fr bed' and woke up my mum, my maid n my hb..

Which make me feel so lost, dunno wat to do.. Seeing him keep on crying n crying like so pain.. but cant find any bruise in his head, body, hands and legs.. Dunno whether did he hurt himself in the internal parts.. Make my heart sink in deeply..

I was so worry that i dunno whether should i be cryin or stand firm n try nt to feel lost... But in the end, I cant help but to cry.. Hb was puttin me so much pressure on me.. Nv tot of how I feel nw and after.. I give birth to Ethan, how would I want to have tis tins to happen.. How wouldn't I feel hurt, sad & guilty?

N we quickly rush dw to MAH A&E to let doc check on him.. However, doc told us that Ethan looks gd.. Dun seems to hv much problem.. No head injury, body, legs & hands is alrite.. Juz hv to mointor him for e next 24hrs, on whether did he vomit, feeling restless... If yes, den we hv to rush back to MAH again..

Well, thanks God.. Ethan is so well nw.. He is so active e next day.. N can play until so crazy.. Seeing him laff, playing n blaffing in his bb languages.. Seeing him all being well, reali make my day bright n happy.. At least my heart of stone can drop dw aside....

But hb like to keep on hvin e blame on me in his mouth.. which reali make me so depressed and guilty for makin him felling off fr e bed.. Each time he bring up, reali hurt me so much that I will cry so badly.. Making me feel like i'm an useless marmie in the whole tat will make my bb feelin hurt.. It have been past 3 days for the incident tat hv happen... But he juz cant let it beyonds... It's was like, I was happy tat Ethan fell off n I plan for it. Cant he just stand it in my shoes n tik?

Until last nite, I reali cant take it any more.. N let out a big big cry... N cant even hvin any appetites for my dinner.. Izzit so hard for him to understand how I feel n how hurt n gulity I am tat my bb fell n hurt himself.. Doesn't him, himself hv fault also.. Did he even done a part of a daddy to Ethan? Does he look after Ethan every nite and wake up once Ethan feel sad or cry during nite time? Does he does a part a hb or daddy to like slp with us, acc us, spend more time w us.. All he tik is tat, buying toys, clothes for Ethan is already done a part of daddy or juz bring us out on sat or sun is already enough.

But he does not noe tat, wat we reali nd is a concern, a care, a love from him.. All tis will be great and best den juz buying toys for Ethan. Times tat we spent together is gd n best tins we wish for. Spending more times with family, just e 3 of us is the greatest tins I reali wish for. Nw I reali wish for is that he would reali dun put the incident in his mouth any more...

This is the greatest incidents tat I will alwis bear in mind... N hope tat if there is a second bb, tis will nv be gonna happen again...

Nw wat reali I would wish for, it's everytins will goes smooth n safe for Ethan thru' out his growing parts & pieces. God Bless...

Ethan toking in his bb lanaguages..

kekeke... wasn't tat cute... he reali enjoy it..

miss those times tat i spend w him whole day..

wish i can turn back time wen i;m a SAHM.. kekeke..